


Waxing Gone Wrong

by AmySear



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Graphic descriptions of Brazilian Waxes, Mentions lady parts, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, You are related to Captain America, i own nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-21 05:24:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19996579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmySear/pseuds/AmySear
Summary: You give yourself a Brazilian wax at home as a surprise for your hot-and-lethal boyfriend, the Winter Soldier. Things do not go as planned.





	Waxing Gone Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this idea came from! But I wondered how the Avengers would react in this situation, and the story began to take shape. Haha! Thanks for reading!

Okay, breathe, just breathe…think logically. How can you get out of this mess? You pressed your face into the fluffy towel as if suffocating yourself would help you ignore the pain searing in your lady parts. How could you have been so stupid? You looked at the blond woman smiling on the wax package. Stupid bitch! Stupid waxing kit!

This whole idea came about days earlier when you were having your morning coffee in the Avenger’s complex kitchen. Even though you and Bucky shared an apartment on the residential floor, you both still enjoyed the company of his team members and liked having breakfast or dinner with the team occasionally. Uncle Steve pretty much insisted on it. Your life was turned upside down a year ago when you did one of those ‘Ancestry DNA’ test kits. You were intrigued by the idea. You never knew your biological family. There had been a car accident when you were young, and you were placed with a wonderful family who raised you. However, you did have a natural desire to learn more about your family history. The kit went off in the mail, and you got a knock on the door weeks later by none-other-than Captain-freaking-America himself declaring you to be the great-niece he didn’t know existed. By his side was his loyal best friend, James ‘Bucky’ Barnes, who smiled at you in a way that almost made you drop your panties then and there. (For the record, two months went by before you dropped your panties and officially became the main squeeze to the Winter Soldier!). 

You groaned as you spread your legs wider. What would Uncle Steve say when he saw you now?? Hell, what was Bucky going to say? Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, good was going to come out of this! You took a deep breath and risked looking down at your lady parts. Yep. Problem still existed. Angry tears threatened to bubble up. 

This was all Bucky’s fault! He made that comment at breakfast a few days ago. It was a smaller group than normal…just you, Bucky, and Steve eating in the communal kitchen that morning. 

“I don’t understand advertisements these days,” Steve mused as he watched the television from the breakfast bar as the channel took a break from the morning news, “Why would they advertise that?”

You took another scoop of your yogurt to catch the last part of the commercial for a special feminine razer that played on women trimming their pubic hair by using ladies standing in front of outside bushes that had been cut to different shapes. “That’s the style these days, Uncle Steve,” you said with a shrug and a snort as you watched a blush creep across your uncle’s cheeks.

“Some girls like that, Stevie. I’ve heard some girls even wax themselves down there. So they are completely smooth like a baby’s butt,” Bucky chuckled with his brows wagging toward his friend.

Captain America grimaced and took the last bite of his eggs. “Now THAT is something I don’t need to hear about over my breakfast. C’mon, we gotta get down to training floor. Peter is coming by to get briefed on the mission coming up, and I want to give the boy a proper tour of the facility without Stark’s snark.”  
Your lover and uncle began to clean up their plates and didn’t notice your brow furrowed as you were lost in thought watching the television now back to the morning news. Why did Bucky talk about Brazilian waxes like that? He seemed almost…excited…at the thought of a bare woman! You shaved and kept things neat and tidy. Heck, sometimes you even shaved it completely, but it was impossible to get completely smooth with a razer. He never seemed to mind the stubble. He would be between your thighs for hours if he had it his way. 

“Doll,” his voiced teased from behind as he saw you staring off into space. “Come back to reality…” He started to create a trail of gentle kisses from your earlobe going down your neck onto your collarbone.

You couldn’t help but ‘humm’ a little. All this blue-eyed super soldier had to do was breathe on you and your panties would get wet! You heard an annoyed cough behind you as Captain America mumbled something about meeting Buck downstairs. That made you giggle. Your uncle was surprised about the feelings you and his best friend developed for each other, but you had his full blessing. All that being said, he didn’t care for the intimacy that he knew happened between you two. He didn’t need to know or want to know! 

“You got big plans today, babydoll?” the boy from Brooklyn asked as he nuzzled the back of your head. 

You turned around so you faced the super soldier. You had to get on your tippy-toes to give him a gentle kiss. “I always have big plans, soldier,” you gave him a sly grin as the kiss broke. “Today I will be downstairs with Pepper working on the banquet for the foundation later this week.” Once you moved into the complex, you made sure you would be useful to the team. You were helping Pepper run a nonprofit for climate change that Stark Industries founded. It was a cause dear to your heart, and it was easy work.

“Mmm,” Bucky nodded as he gave you one more kiss. “Have fun, doll. I’ll see you later today. Love you.” He gave you a pat on the ass with a wink before heading out the door. 

You blew him a kiss with a quick, “Love you too, Buck,” as the door shut. You knew you looked like a total dork with a huge smile on your face. Your soldier was amazing. You knew in the field he was still the Winter Soldier who was intense, brooding, and lethal. Many of the Avengers kept out of his way since he was still quiet around them and continued to have the air of “danger” about him. But when he was with you and Steve, he was sassy and sarcastic and knew exactly what buttons to push on you so he could grin like a naughty schoolboy who got in trouble. He was still the boy from Brooklyn that Steve knew. Your gaze returned to the television. Bucky deserved a surprise. If he liked the idea of having a woman with a completely bare vagina, then by golly he would get it! 

*

All of this led you to buying an at-home Brazilian wax kit. You were too embarrassed to go to a salon, and you thought it would be easy enough to do at home. After all, some women waxed their brows at home. How would this be different? You picked the kit up while doing errands the next day and had snuck it back into the apartment. Bucky never searched grocery bags where he could see boxes of tampons, so you hid it in there! You loved the idea of having smooth parts by the time Bucky came back from his short mission with Uncle Steve and the Spiderkid. Imagine his surprise when he ran his hand up your dress. You got chills just thinking about it! 

You were tentative at first with the wax and had done a patch on your bikini area. It hurt like hell when you pulled the hard wax off, but it left you super smooth underneath. All seemed well, so you decided to trudge forward! Unbeknownst to you, the wax warmer was still heating up the wax to temperatures that were too high. It didn’t automatically shut off. You applied the next round of wax in one big glob over your clitoris and lady lips. It took you about 1.5 seconds to realize that 1) The wax was WAY too hot, 2) You smeared it over in one swoop and it was too late to remove it. You screeched in pain and ran to the shower where you took the hand-held showerhead and blasted cool water over yourself. That lessened the pain, but now the wax was cool. The only way it was coming off was if it was pulled off. But there was NO way in hell you were pulling that wax off after it had burned you. You were trapped! You stayed in the bathroom frozen in terror for minutes (that felt like hours) as you pondered what to do. 

As if the universe didn’t hate you enough already, you heard the apartment door open. Your eyes bugged out. The boys weren’t supposed to be home from their mission until the evening! It was 10:37am!!! What was happening?

“Hello? Ms---? It’s me…uh Peter. Peter Parker. Captain America and the Winter Soldier sent me up here while they dropped off the bags. They gave me their keys. I’m not a bad guy. I’m, uh, supposed to grab you to get some lunch. Ms. Potts said you were working from here today?” He announced as he tentatively stepped into the apartment. Your heart was beating out of your chest. The poor Avenger was on the other side of the apartment, but you could hear the footsteps coming your way toward the master bedroom where you lurked in the bathroom. 

“HI there!” you shouted as you tried to scramble into a sitting position. “It’s—ugh---fuck----not a good time for lunch! I can’t come…um, thanks, anyway…go away!” You were on your knees and slowly came into a standing position as best as your shaky legs would allow. 

The footsteps had stopped outside the ajar bedroom door. “…Are you okay?” the highschooler asked as he listened at the door with a confused expression.  
You were taking deep breaths as if you had been to Lamaze class before as you tried to tie the towel around your waist. It was difficult considering your legs were so wide that it looked like you were riding an invisible horse. Every movement you did tugged on the skin where the wax clung. Tears were pooling in your eyes as you winced at the pain. “I’m totally okay, Peter. Like totally. Yeah, I was just, um, taking a shower and now I’m drying off and can’t go with you. You all go out and have a good time.” 

There was a pause. “Okay…well, if you’re sure. I’ll let them know!” his sweet voiced called back. You heard his footsteps begin to recede toward the apartment door and breathed a sigh of relief. 

But your victory was short lived. You slumped against the bathroom counter and managed to twist in such a way that it pulled off some of the wax. “FUCK!” you shouted as you fell to your knees. You vaguely heard the footsteps run into the bathroom. 

“Oh my god. Are you okay? I swear, I can help you, ma’am. I am an official Avenger. Should I call the Winter Soldier? Captain America? Should I get a medical team up here?” the poor Spiderman rambled as he crouched down to examine you. 

“No,” you sputtered as you tried to regain your composure. “No, fuck no, don’t call anyone. I’m dying and I need to be left alone.”

You said the magic words that immediately set the high schooler to work. “Hey, Captain America! Soldier! Ms---- says she’s dying! She slumped over on the bathroom floor and is pretty sweaty, but I can’t see anything bleeding or wrong,” he announced into his comms unit on his wrist. “But she doesn’t look so good. You should probably come up here!”

You closed your eyes and mentally made a note to smack him. Great, you thought, here came the cavalry. Sure as shit, two minutes later you heard the apartment door swing open again followed by the voices of Steve, Bucky…oh god, and Sam, and Wanda. 

“What the hell is happening in here?” the Falcon demanded as they all rushed into the master bedroom and crowded around the bathroom door. 

“She was hunched over when I got here. She didn’t want to come to lunch, but something is wrong,” Peter answered as he dutifully patted your hand.

That sweet, sweet boy…you were going to murder the little twerp. “Don’t. Touch. The. Towel,” you growled as you felt someone gingerly lift the back of the towel over your bottom where you were hunched on your knees. 

There was an awkward silence. Your uncle sighed your name. “We are here to help you… we just need to know what is----”

Wanda interrupted him with a squeak. You could just imagine her eyes finding the box on the counter and the hot wax still bubbling. “Boys, I think everything is going to be okay. Bucky will handle it from here. We should leave,” she said firmly.

There were various sounds of protest, a muffle as if an elbow hit some ribs, and a collective, “Ohhhh.” Sam was the first to start laughing. “Oh shit, girl. Shit. Shit. Shit. This is out of my area of expertise. We will leave you to your man.” 

You risked looking up to see Wanda grimacing, Sam still giggling, and Peter looking confused. Uncle Steve looked horrified. “Come on, son. We will grab some lunch,” he said as he put a hand on Peter’s shoulder. He made eye-contact with you. “We will be around if you need anything, sweetheart.” The look you gave him must have been purely pathetic because he leaned down to cup your cheek. “Good luck, Buck,” he muttered as he led the rest of the Avengers out. 

It was just you and your lover now. You had to give him credit…he had remained stone-faced and concerned and didn’t laugh like the others. “Okay, doll,” he said once he heard the apartment door close, “I need to move the towel to see what I’m working with.” 

You allowed him to pull you off all fours so instead you balanced on your knees while he squatted beside you. Once you made eye-contact with him, you couldn’t help but burst into tears. “This was a stupid idea,” you wailed as the tears rolled down your cheeks. “It won’t come off, Bucky! It is stuck! And it burned me! I ruined my vagina!” You broke down into small sobs after this sentence. 

“Doll. Seriously. Out of all the ideas you get,” your boyfriend huffed as he wiped the tears off your cheeks and managed a small smile. “It definitely wasn’t smart. But we will figure a way out of this.”

You nodded and allowed him to gently push you backwards so you rested against the bathtub with your legs spread. “Fuuuuck,” Bucky mumbled under his breath as he first glimpsed your lady parts. “No no no, I know, doll. It was a jerk reaction,” he quickly corrected as his hands stopped you from forcing your legs closed with an embarrassed cry. 

“Okay, let’s think about this,” he said strongly as he stared at the wax. You almost wanted to laugh. You had never had a man stare at you so seriously and intently before. It would be comical if you weren’t in so much pain. “There’s definitely a burn under this,” Bucky observed as his flesh fingers gently probed the edge of the wax where you were already swollen. He poked a few more areas before he resigned himself to his fate.

He cleared his throat and said your name. You had brought the towel back over your head to try to suffocate yourself. “Babe, I’m going to have to peel the wax off,” he said as he pulled the towel off your head.

That got your attention! “You better fucking not, James Barnes!” you growled as you popped up from where you were leaning back. “Don’t you dare fucking touch me!”

The Winter Soldier’s eyes became steely. “It is the only way, doll. I need to get the wax off otherwise the swelling will make it worse. We will get ointment on everything and it should heal up.”

You tried to stand up, but his strong arms kept you placed. “I mean it, Bucky! You better not touch me! This is all your fucking fault!” you hissed as you tried to fight him off.

His eyes bugged a little as he pushed you back. “Mine? How is you pouring wax on yourself my fault?”

“You said girls these days had smooth areas! You told Uncle Steve! You acted like it was the best fucking thing in the world!”

“No I didn’t,” he argued back, “I was tryin’ to get a rise out of Stevie. There ain’t nothing wrong with your parts, woman! I love them as much as I love you! Otherwise I wouldn’t be burying myself in them every night!”

His words sunk in. Your heart jumped as you thought about all the trouble you had gone through to try to make him excited about something, and the poor guy couldn’t care less and loved you the way you were. Bucky didn’t waste any time with your momentary lapse in fighting. Before you knew it, he had found a lifted part in the wax and riiippppped. It took .25 seconds for your brain to register what had happened before you screamed bloody murder. The Winter Soldier was way ahead of you. As you gripped the towel and howled, he grabbed a cold washcloth and pressed it against your parts. “I want to die,” you groaned as you slumped forward toward him. 

“Not on my watch, baby,” the soldier replied with a hint of a chuckle in his voice. “But next time, talk to me because you do something drastic. I can’t help but feel invested in your body as much as you are.”

You couldn’t help but agree. 

*

The true of walk of shame happened an hour later as you headed down to medical. Bucky had placed a discreet call to Dr. Banner. After assuring Bruce that it wasn’t a prank (with your shouts of pain in the background), Dr. Banner insisted on doing some type of skin scan to see how deep the burn went. (You didn’t even want to imagine how embarrassing that was going to be…the Hulk staring down your intimate areas!). Bruce didn’t think the burn was too bad based on the symptoms, but he felt like you needed to err on the side of caution. Bucky tried to carry you, but having your legs pressed together or anything touch your lady parts felt excruciating. You had to resort to wearing a dress and walking as if you were a cowboy from the old west. 

Everyone else had gone to lunch, so it should have been a clear ride from the elevator to medical. Should have. That is, until you hear the voice of Tony-fucking-Stark. 

“So the kid was right,” he mused from inside the elevator as you and Bucky begrudgingly got inside the car. “You did have an accident with wax.”

“Tony. Please,” you begged as braced yourself in the back of the elevator. Your soldier’s glare made it clear that he also wasn’t in the mood for any jokes.  
The playboy-billionaire-philanthropist shrugged and put up his hands in innocence. “Not saying anything. Just reporting what I heard.” He held the door open while you gingerly stepped out on the medical floor followed by Bucky. “Hey, popsicle,” he called to the Winter Soldier once he was a safe distance away. “Let me know how the slip-n-slide is later once you’re able to try it out.” It took Bucky a moment to process those words, but the elevator doors were closed by the time he could grab Stark. 

*

It took three weeks before you felt back to normal and things didn’t sting anymore. You sighed in contentment as you opened your eyes and nuzzled the super soldier’s naked chest next to you. You place a soft kiss on his torso as you sat up to wake up for the day. A firm grip on your hip stopped you from sliding out of bed. “Not so fast, sweetheart,” a gruff voice announced. 

You giggled as you felt yourself getting pulled back to your naked boyfriend. “Bucky,” you playfully whined. “I need to go to work.” You pushed his brown hair out of his eyes as he pulled you up over him to straddle his waist.

He shook his head and interlaced his fingers with yours. “Not today, doll. Not yet, at least.” He thrusted up as you gently rocked over his briefs. 

“Again?” you questioned. You tried to look stern but couldn’t help the groan that fell from your lips.

“Again,” he confirmed as he sat up so he could kiss you. “We have about three weeks of lost time to still make up for.”

You couldn’t argue with him there. He rolled over so you were underneath him, and you let his plan proceed. 

The End


End file.
